Customer non-service

I feel like such an expat housewife whining about customer service in another country, but this was a truly amazing conversation I had today with a certain credit card company.

- Hello, I'm looking to purchase a new credit card and saw your Panda card online. It says that by purchasing the card I will "automatically support the World Wildlife Fund", but it doesn't say how?
- And what is your question?
- How does my purchase support the World Wildlife Fund?
- [Silence]
- For example, do 1% of my purchases go towards the WWF? Or does all of my annual membership fee go to the WWF?
- Oh, let me check.
- Do you never get asked this question? Your website is very vague and un-transparent. I thought lots of people must phone you to ask how their money is going to the WWF.
- Okay, I checked and it says that a fixed sum is donated every year to WWF, but it says that the credit card company and WWF have agreed not to publicize the amount.
- That's very un-assuring. Is the fixed sum at least determined based on the number of cards sold?
- Yes! Oh wait, no!
- But then I don't know how my choices as a consumer are leading to raising funds for the WWF.
- I'm sorry, this is really terrible isn't it?
- [Me laughing]
- Why don't you choose the green card instead?
- Sure, what makes the card green?
- Um...let me check...[pause]...The card makes your purchases green!
- But how? Do they invest in carbon offsetting? And if so, how do they determine the carbon footprint of my purchases? And what type of offsetting projects do they fund?
- I don't know! But here's a phone number I just found for the company.
- Aren't you the company?
- Yes, but there's another company that knows why it's "green". Let me just transfer you please...
- Thank you for your help, please transfer me.
- [Ringing, ringing, ringing]
- Um, let me try another number.
- [Ringing, ringing, ringing]

Eventually I hung up because, as with all consumer and government phone lines, I was being charged 0.10 / per minute for this phone call by the company, and 0.10 / per minute by my mobile phone company as service costs for billing the other company, plus my regular minutes.